Just what I needed

My winter school break is 2.5 weeks long. Our entire family already went to San Antonio for a few days to visit Matt's family for Christmas, but the boys and my break continues through this entire first week of January. They're content to stay home and play video games. I am not.

I booked a condo in the Ozarks for a few days, and a friend will be joining me tomorrow. My six hour drive landed me here, alone, late this afternoon.

and I. freaking. love. it.

I love being alone.

This is the first time I have been somewhere neutral, alone, since I can't remember when. It may have been more than 20 years ago.

As a college student, I would frequently drive to my family's cabin in the woods for the weekend. The 4 hour drive cleared my head, and the solitude of the weekend restored my soul. I didn't have to go anywhere, do anything, or talk to anyone. No one knew I was there. No one could bother me. I could eat what and when I wanted. I could stay up all night reading if I wanted to.  I could stroll through the woods. If I had been at home, I would have been caught up in the continuation of my regular life. Being alone, somewhere else, is absolutely liberating.

Even staying at a hotel, alone, evokes a different vibe. A hotel room feels confining and ultimately very temporary. A hotel is a quick stop on the way to somewhere else.

But this, this, is just what I needed, and I didn't even know it.


Much of what I am struggling with right now is my definition of happiness, and what I need to be happy. I am simultaneously reading/listening to 3 books that are all themed around love, marriage, and aloneness. This retreat could not have come at a better time as I grapple with these concepts.

birdhouse in your soul

You might be 2 days into a head and chest cold that leaves you coughing every few minutes.

The weather might be inexplicably warm for a February morning. So warm that you open doors and windows to enjoy the sunshine, breeze, and windchimes.

Your best friend from high school might be celebrating a milestone birthday this weekend. 

You might be undecided about making the 9 hour drive, each way, to her house to celebrate, especially given how you're feeling right now.

But you might also be compelled to begin a birthday present for her, regardless.

Regardless of sickness, distance, or other works in progress (they're both almost done, anyway.)

You might choose happy colors based on an equally happy song, and immediately get to work.    

Time is of the essence.

Make a little birdhouse in your soul.