in knots

3 weeks ago, my job was posted.

Today, I have a phone interview, and my stomach is in knots.

I am interviewing for a position that I held just 362 days ago. I know every question that is on the interview sheet; I asked these questions of candidates when I helped conduct this same interview last year to find my replacement. I know the interviewers; they were coworkers and supervisors for 3 years. I'd like to say I have nothing to be nervous about, but that would be a lie.

I'm nervous that they might say yes. I'm nervous about asking my kids to leave the friends they just made when they moved to Louisiana 10.5 months ago. Today is the last day of school here. What if they're never going back to their schools here? Last year they knew they were saying goodbye to school friends in NC, at least temporarily. They would be thrilled to reconnect at their old schools if we move back, not to mention they'd get almost an entire extra month of summer vacation due to schedule differences.

This is not a place we'd return to, though. When we leave, it will be a permanent move. I certainly don't plan to make the 30 hour round-trip drive just so teenagers can visit their friends, but I don't want to invalidate their feelings because they have actually made some good friends here. I can't even ask them if they'd want to move back, though, not until I know if it is a valid option. It would've devastating to get them thinking about moving back, only to find out that I didn't get the job.

I walked out of my school today with kids asking if I would be back next year. I couldn't resoundingly tell them yes, because I may not. "I plan to" was the best response I could muster, because I will most likely be substitute teaching there if this is where I live.

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In other knot news, I came across a baggie full of hemp cord while I was cleaning up the other day. As I think back on it, macrame was one of the first crafts I learned, using this book.

I made a LOT of really ugly plant holders when I was in elementary school! God bless my aunt who graciously accepted them, and I think to this day may be using one on her porch.

The knots and patterns came back to me quickly and I put together this little bracelet. Knots are much better worn as jewelry than in the stomach. 

moving and the Olympics

It occurred to me, this morning, that this is the longest I have been gone from North Carolina in twenty years.

First of all, it bothers me that I can say anything was twenty years ago because in my mind I am still 27 (which probably explains some of the dumb things I still think I can do, but that's another post).

This thought came to me because later this week, I will be driving back to North Carolina to prepare my house for tenants. The thought went exactly like this: wow, the last time I was away from NC for this long was when I was in Africa.

I spent most of the summer of 1996 in Swaziland in Southern Africa. 20 years later, I have fond and vivid memories of my time there and I would love to be able to return some day. One of my best (and most surreal) memories is of watching the 1996 Summer Olympics in Swaziland. We were 6 time zones ahead of Atlanta, Georgia, where the games were held. Ironically, Atlanta was only 5 hours from my home in NC, and I was half a world away in Africa.

The 1984 Summer Olympics were held in Los Angeles, and as a 9 year-old child, I was living in Marin County, California. My parents took me to see the Olympic torch as it was run through a nearby town, and I watched Mary Lou Retton and her team earn several medals. This was a HUGE deal since I, too, was a gymnast. My sights were instantly set on Barcelona 1992 when I would be the 16 year-old gymnast achieving the same feats.

Of course, less than a year later I would find myself uprooted from my home state and taken to North Carolina (which I hated for the next 4+ years) where there was no gymnastics facility nearby.

It's funny how life comes full circle, and once again I have been uprooted from a home state that I love, and I'm watching the Olympics in what feels, at times, like a foreign land. Side note that during all 3 of those pivotal games, USA women did very well in gymnastics.