It took moving away and being gone for 3 months to understand that it's not the state or even the location within the state that made me so unhappy for the last 3 years.
I arrived back at my old house in Friday night after a 16 hour journey which was tedious but went quickly thanks to the book I was listening to: 9 Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty. It was the perfectly light and indulgent story to distract me during the drive.
Let's be clear about a few important points:
- I still dislike this house. I dislike even more that it is on the market but is soooooo far from my standards of being market ready. I'm trying my best to let go and let my husband handle selling it because it is "his" house but OMG I may actually go crazy before the week is over. I did not drive all this way to spend my precious time off to clean up and pack up a house when I have my own house in NC that needs so much attention, but... here I am. Sigh.
- It still feels isolated. Shreveport/Bossier is a decent metro area, but beyond this you have to drive 3 hours toward Dallas to find anything new/different. The other towns within that radius are the same size or smaller and offer little in the way of entertainment options.
With those disclaimers out of the way, here are a few things that I actually miss about this place:
- Birds. I forgot how many types of birds visit my yard here (even though the bird feeder is MIA). It has been a delight to watch and listen to them as I enjoy my morning coffee.
- Wind. I have no idea what meteorological phenomenon is at work, but this corner of the world always has the nicest breezes, which sometimes turn into downright blustery days. I adore wind, perhaps because I grew up in the breezy bay area of California. Breezes like this are not common in the piedmont of North Carolina. In fact, compared to the atmosphere here, the air there is downright stagnant.
- My people. I did a pretty good job of keeping myself walled off for the first half of the year when I moved here. I didn't want to form a lot of relationships because I knew this was not my home and I would not be staying. But dammit if I didn't meet some of the best friends I've ever had. I frontloaded my visit by seeing a lot of them on Saturday and I must admit that I found myself wondering if I wouldn't have been better off staying here, among them.
No time for second-guessing- I made my choice and did what I thought was best by moving back to work on my house.
Still, I am secretly glad to be leaving 2 college students behind in this area so I'll have a reason to keep coming back for a few years.
