Fight or flight

a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival.

Flight would be so easy. 

In 14 hours, I could be back at home. A home I am still paying for, paying to cool and have water and gas on, and for the lawn to be mowed. Home where my friends and my kids' friends are. Home where there is no question as to which math course my kids should be signed up for next year, and no trying to figure out which system of brackets are glued to my son's teeth (did you know that there are like 27 different systems of braces, and if you don't find a new orthodontist who works with the same ones that are currently on your child's teeth, said child will have to have said braces removed & replaced at a ridiculous expense to you? That's true!)

But would flight be too easy?

I want, no, need my children to grow and learn, and sometimes that comes through suffering. Because life isn't easy, and I don't want to rob them of this opportunity to experience something new. A chance to prove to themselves that they are strong and capable of doing hard things.

But they did hard things last year. All three of them moved to new schools in a new school system last year. They spent 180 days in that system, making friends, learning what was expected of them, making plans for the future when that future was abruptly brought to a screeching halt. Like a wild frog picked up by a well-meaning child, they were plucked out of the familiar and put down in a new environment. 

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I am fighting (for now). School starts a week from tomorrow. I am trying hard to make this work. 

But if it doesn't, school at home doesn't start for three more weeks and we could be back there without missing a thing.


20 days down. 656 to go.